Vince the Moderate Merry Man
by Alfonsina.d
Summary: This was originally inspired by a challenge on Perfectly Plum ... minor Morelli bashing; no direct interaction with Ranger. Not an R/S pairing...hope you enjoy anyway. COMPLETE ..alf
1. Chapter 1

Standard disclaimers apply.

**Vince, the Moderate Merry Man  
By Alfonsina**

"They aren't going to find us for hours," I said.

"They probably already know we're missing. Not a big deal."

"You aren't really building confidence right now, Vince," I said. I hate being locked in confined places.

"I'm your favorite, right?" he asked.

I don't know where the question came from or why, but we were together and we should talk about something, anything. Plus right now he was my favorite, because he's patient, kind and has killer dimples. Did I mention he has a really rosy complexion and an amazing smile?

"Of course you are my favorite young, blond, under thirty, Merry Man."

His lips turned up a fraction of an inch.

"Do you have a favorite over thirty, Merry Man?"

"Not tonight," I said. And tonight I didn't want to think about it or anything else.

We were supposed to be checking out the security cameras at an office building when someone, who shall remain nameless, accidentally flushed the keys down the toilet. What? Keys fall out of pockets and into toilets all the time, don't they? How did that happen? Don't ask.

It wouldn't have been so bad except that we were now stuck in the stairwell. We couldn't open the second or third floor doors, they locked automatically, and this stairwell didn't have roof access. Under the law the door at the ground floor wasn't supposed to lock and we should have been able to open that door and push our way back into the lobby or the great out of doors. Someone forgot to tell management because even though the door wasn't technically locked it was stuck and in a big way. If Vince couldn't shoulder it open there was no way I could.

At least I didn't have anything to drink and probably wouldn't need to potty again for a few hours. That was the good news, the bad news was that my cell phone was in the truck and Vince couldn't get signal with his. More on the bad news, Ranger and most of his core team were out of town and the control room was being handled by a rookie who didn't know my reputation. It was doubtful a search party would be formed or even considered until Junior took over in the morning and noticed a lack of status reports.

"We may as well get comfortable," I said.

"I wish I could get rid of some of my extra energy," he said.

"You mean like exercise?" I asked. Stupid question, he was a Rangeman, he ran ten miles per day. He wouldn't get rid of extra energy by sitting around, he'd probably want to do laps.

"Do you mind if I run the stairs?"

"Just let me get out of the way."

Fortunately there was a decent sized landing and I got the bird's eye view of Vince running the stairs for almost an hour. By the time he got done, his rosy complexion was rosier and his shirt was gone. Damn, that meant I was going to have to admire that nicely toned chest until either he got cold or embarrassed.

He finally came to rest on the second floor landing and sat next to me.

"Wanna talk?" he asked. The man wasn't even out of breath. I'd need an oxygen tank if I'd run stairs for more than two minutes; for sixty I'd probably need an ambulance.

"Sure, what do you want to talk about?"

"Anything, you start."

So we talked about work, people we knew and then food. At some point, he put his shirt back on; disappointing, but understandable. It was cold in the stairwell and getting colder as the night went on.

"What do you think the most perfect food in the world is?" he asked as he draped an arm over my shoulder. We'd been sitting next to each other and were both feeling a bit of a chill.

"Birthday cake," I said snuggling into his chest.

"Why?"

"Easy, it is a special cake once a year for somebody. Doesn't matter what flavor it is or the icing that is used, birthday cake is probably perfect. Besides, it has eggs and grain and depending on the icing some milk, so you get a lot of your food groups in every bite. See, perfect. You?"

"Hamburgers. You can't go wrong with hamburgers. They are the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast."

"You are kidding right? Doughnuts are the prefect breakfast food," I said with a yawn.

"Nope. It is the hamburger. You have your protein, your grain product," he said winking at me, "between the catsup, lettuce and the pickle you have the veggie portion covered. If you want extra dairy you add cheese. Plus it is easy to carry around and you don't get that pesky sugar high."

"I like the sugar high."

"What about the crash later?"

"Not so much loving the crash later."

"See."

"Ok, can we agree the prefect meal would be the hamburger followed by birthday cake?"

"Agreed."

"You should probably close your eyes for a bit, Steph, we'll be here for a while."

A/N: Vince has a reputation for being moderate in everything except for one; you'll find out soon enough.


	2. Chapter 2

Standard disclaimers, blah blah blah blah blah.

_"You should probably close your eyes for a bit, Steph, we'll be here for a while."_

**Vince, the Moderate Merry Man**

**By Alfonsina**

"Steph, you need to move," he said quietly.

"Mmmmm? Wha?"

"I can't feel my arm anymore, I'd like it back."

"Don't you like to be a pillow?" I asked.

"I don't have a lot of practice at it. I usually sleep alone."

"That's a shame, you make a great pillow," I said as I tried to change positions. We were both on our backs but my head was using his arm for comfort. "I could use a new pillow."

I tried to close my eyes but realized it wasn't going to work, my warm pillow was gone.

"Wanna talk now?" I yawned.

He looked at his watch, it was 2:37 a.m. "No. I'd like to get back to sleep. But I'm cold now."

"If we change sides, we can spoon and maybe you won't be quite so cold and your other arm won't feel deprived."

It was his turn to yawn as he crawled over me and proceeded to cuddle me.

"Night little one," he said as he let out a deep breath.

"Sweet dreams, Vince," I said and then I was gone.

About an hour later Vince made a noise and tried to pull his arm out from under my head. Inconsiderate man.

"I'm just not used to being a pillow, Steph, sorry."

He could probably sleep anywhere, but what good was that going to do me? I was now cold and uncomfortable and feeling a little cranky.

I made a noise, it probably wasn't flattering.

"I've only ever slept with someone I'm married to," he said sleepily. "And my marriages haven't worked out very well."

"Been married more than once," I asked.

"Definitely."

"I was married a lifetime ago for less than a year," I said.

"I've been married nine times," he said with a shrug. "The longest one was when I was seventeen and we were married about seven months."

"Was she pregnant?"

Nine times? He wasn't even thirty and he'd been married nine times. Hell, I hadn't even slept with nine men.

"No. My folks were going to move, we thought we were in love. Both sets of parents signed off on the paperwork so we could be married and stay together. She decided she loved someone else when I was at boot camp." He sighed and rubbed my back a little.

"I was raised not to sleep with anyone unless I'm married. I just can't do it. That's probably why I keep shifting around and can't get comfortable. Sorry," he said.

"Just how exactly have you convinced these women to wait for you until you get married?"

"It's not so much a matter of convincing them to marry me, it is having reasons to stay married to me."

"I don't get it," and I honestly didn't.

"Well, three of them married me thinking that I'd get American citizenship for them. Two thought it wasn't a real marriage and it was just a way to play for the weekend. You already know about my first wife. The others thought I was kidding when I told them I'd been a mercenary and when they saw some of the tools for the job kind of freaked."

"They've all left you?"

"Yeah, except for the ones who wanted citizenship. I had those annulled for false pretenses."

Wow.

"If we were married and had already done the sex part," I said wishing that maybe we could do that part, but not planning on it, "what position did you like to sleep in with any of them?"

I figured that if we got to a familiar body position, he might just get some sleep.

"You probably won't like it," he said quietly.

"Why not?"

"Because you'd have to sleep on top of me," he said.

That's definitely not what I'd call a hardship.

"I drool," I said.

"I'm good with that," he said. "But if you want more than sleep, you're gonna have to marry me when they let us out of here."

"Not a problem," I said.

"I'm serious, Steph. I've got the rings and I have all my divorce papers saved as PDF files on a flash drive in my pocket. So if you start getting frisky, you're gonna wind up married."

Oh God.

"I promise to be good," I said. I wanted to cross my fingers, but didn't have the heart. I wasn't going to be number ten, no way.

He stretched out on the landing and had me climb on top of him. He slipped his hands under my shirt and started rubbing little circles until he fell asleep.

At around 6:00 he started to play with my hair and put his hand on my hip, again with all the rubbing. It was safe, wholesome and incredibly erotic.

I had a hard time going back to sleep. I tried to move and his arms became like iron bands. He was apparently still asleep and wasn't going to let his teddy bear go anytime soon.

When I let my body relax, so did his grip. I fell back asleep and was dreaming about a movie, it was an old Tarantino flick.

I heard a voice on the other side of the door, "Boss, we've found them. Nope, it's padlocked closed. Talk to you later." Pause. "Hey, did anybody bring bolt cutters so we can snap this thing open?" I recognized the voice as belonging to Caesar.

Another voice said, "No. What do you think we do, carry around an entire hardware store?"

The Calvary had come and wasn't prepared to make a rescue.

"Fuck. In that case, we're gonna need a block of wood, a bucket of ice and a hatchet," said the voice I knew to be Erik.

"Erik, don't be an ass," said Caesar.

"No man, we need the wood and the hatchet to break the lock open."

"What's the bucket of ice for?"

"Vince's probably gonna get a black eye for spending the night alone with Stephanie."

"We don't know that anything happened."

"We don't know that anything didn't, either. You've seen Vince in action. He gets the girls all hot, bothered and frustrated and leaves them that way until they agree to marry him."

That's a novel approach.

"Steph's not the marrying kind."

I was too the marrying kind. I just hadn't had any real offers in a very long time.

The guys might be able to sneak up on anything, but no one had ever taught them how to modulate their voices. There should be a way to make them suffer for their speculation.

Vince had heard the conversation and didn't look any more pleased than I felt.

"Want to have a little fun today?" he asked with a wink.

"What do you have in mind, big boy?" I asked batting my eyelashes.

"Let's pretend we got married and see what happens. They won't have to know it isn't real."

"Why not? There's already a lot of speculation about me and my life. I'm game."

"Get off me so I can get to my wallet," he said.

Usually when I heard that comment it was so that condoms could be employed.

"Give me your left hand," he said.

He slipped a simple gold band over my ring finger. It wasn't very big or very expensive, but it looked very much at home on my finger. He then put his own band on.

Just before I could hear the lock break, Vince took me into his arms and kissed me with an intensity that instantly soaked my panties. Actually if the kiss had been any hotter, my panties would have self combusted and that would have left us with an even more difficult situation.

The three stooges, Erik, Brett and Caesar came through the door only to find me in a very tight and highly charged clench with Vince whose wedding band was glimmering in the light.

"Fuck," the stooges said in unison.

A/N: I personally find someone under 30 to have been married nine times to be at least a little interesting. Don't you?


	3. Chapter 3

Once again with the Disclaimers: making no money and getting no glory or fame

This is for CS Katie who thinks that Vince is her favorite. He's adorable but kind of shy.

**Vince the Moderate Merry Man Part 3**

**By Alfonsina**

Wow. I had no idea looking at Vince that he could kiss like that. In fact, kissing Vince was an absolutely amazing experience. I could tell by the way he approached the kiss and the way he took his time that this was a man who liked to kiss, a lot. It made me wonder if he liked to kiss other things too, and I wasn't thinking about the Blarney Stone.

I didn't hear the stooges in their exclamation of 'fuck' but Vince did. He gathered me more closely into his arms and put his head on top of mine.

"Gentlemen," he said with a smile, "it took you long enough."

I didn't say anything, I just enjoyed the big strong arms and the comfortable chest. If I could bottle the feeling, I'd make a fortune.

"It doesn't look like it took you long at all, Vince," said Erik.

"I'm goal oriented. I want something, I make a plan. I find a way to execute the plan and I achieve my goal. Simple. You all know that about me," he said rubbing my back. If I were a cat, I'd be purring.

"I didn't know that about you," I said quietly.

"You have a lifetime to figure it out," he said loud enough for the rest of the guys to hear as he kissed the top of my head.

"Shit," muttered Caesar. "What are we going to tell the boss?"

"Nothing to tell him," I said. "I mean other than I had a brilliant moment. Oh, we need to rekey the building or call a plumber about the keys. I don't have anything newsworthy, do you Vince?"

"Not a thing, Sweat Pea," he said kissing me on the temple.

Ranger had been in Atlanta training the staff in some new takedown techniques.

Brett asked, "Do you two need a moment? Before you get out of here?"

"I just need to grab my purse from the lobby," I said.

"I'll go with you," Vince said putting his arm across my shoulder.

When we were out of earshot he asked, "How far do you want to take this?"

I hadn't gotten that far at all. I had come out of my lust induced haze to realize that we'd done some pretty serious kissing but it was just a physical thing; not that there's anything wrong with that.

"Actually, I've been trying to convince Joe Morelli that things are really and truly over between us," I began. "He seems to think that if he keeps coming around, I'll cave and go back to him. Again."

"Will you?"

"He can be pretty persuasive."

"So can I. Want me to help you with him today?"

"I'd love you forever, if you'd do that."

"Where do you want to talk to him?"

"I usually run into him at the cop shop or if I've had something go FUBAR on me."

I'd been hanging out with the guys enough to pick up a little of the lingo. At least enough of the lingo to know that FUBAR meant "fucked up beyond all recognition" and most of the car explosions qualified as FUBAR.

"Why don't you call him and set a time to meet him, I'll back you up," he said. "If you choose the time and place, you'll have a better chance to control the conversation."

The guys all headed back to the office and I went to my apartment to change clothes and call Joe.

xx

"Hey Joe?"

"The boys missed you last night, you didn't call."

Of course the boys missed me; he didn't miss me but 'the boys' did.

"About that, something came up and I'd like to talk to you about it. Are you going to be free this afternoon or early this evening?"

"How about your place at 6:00, I'll bring the pizza if you supply the beer. Sound good?"

"See you then Joe, and thanks."

I called Vince. He agreed to give Morelli a ten minute headstart and then join us.

xx

I worked a pretty standard day for me, but made sure to keep my hand in my pocket when I was at the Bonds office. I had forgotten to give Vince his ring back and I'd probably need it later tonight anyway.

At six on the dot, Morelli knocked on the door, pizza in hand.

"Hiya, Cupcake. Missed you," he said as he went in for the kiss. I turned my head before he could reach my lips.

I'd been thinking about his kisses. His kisses weren't like Vince's kisses at all. When Vince kissed me, it was completely self contained and held no expectations. The act of just kissing Vince was complete and didn't need anything else, not that I wouldn't have minded a little something more. Kissing Joe always _had to_ lead to something more, whether or not that was what I wanted. Kissing with Joe was never enough on its own for him.

"Ready to eat?" I asked.

He was and we set up to eat at the dinette.

"Pretty formal for you, we usually eat on the sofa," he said.

It was true we did, but I wanted to keep things a little more formal.

"I'm not so good with small talk," I started opening the box and selecting a slice.

"Sounds serious," he said as he cracked his beer open.

"It is. I've had some epiphanies lately and we need to talk about them."

"Sure." It was his turn to pull a slice from the box.

"You know how you hate my job and you don't like that I work with Ranger," I said. "And how I like my job and how I don't want those things to change …"

"Here we go again with Ranger. We're never going to get back together if Ranger keeps inviting himself into our relationship."

"Ranger isn't going to go away. Ranger's my boss and my best friend."

"You can't still believe that he's just a friend, can you?" he asked. "I know how he looks at you. There's only one thing a man like him wants."

"Some days I think you are just like him, only wanting one thing. More than that, this isn't about Ranger. This isn't about you and me getting back together. This is about me," I said.

"It's _always _about you, Stephanie. If you weren't so selfish, we'd have moved our relationship to the next level. You know that's what we both want."

Morelli looked like he was going to build a head of steam and explode all over me. I wasn't ready and didn't want to deal with the fallout.

The knock came at the door right before the explosion occurred. Vince had either been listening at the door or had an amazing sense of timing.

"Expecting someone? I thought Ranger was out of town."

"Ranger is out of town. And yes, I'm expecting someone."

I opened the door to Vince who had a bakery box in his hand and an overnight bag.

He leaned down and kissed me in front of Morelli. I could feel the lighter fluid between my legs beginning to build and wondered how long it would take before my panties actually caught fire.

"Joe, you know Vince, don't you?" I asked.

The men nodded at each other.

"We aren't done here, Stephanie. He needs to leave," Joe said.

"Actually, I have more reason to be here now than you do, Joe," Vince said quietly.

"No, I don't think you do. Stephanie and I were talking about our relationship."

"You mean the final ending of your relationship," he countered.

"Stephanie, what is he talking about?"

"Joe, I've had a hard time convincing both of us that we really aren't right together; not really right. We will always have some love between us, but we've never wanted the same things at the same time. It is time for us to quit lying to each other and to ourselves."

"How does he figure into this?" Joe asked moving his chair back from the table.

Joe's about the same height as Vince and in fairly good shape. Actually compared to most of the men in America, Joe's in great shape. Vince just happens to be in better shape and has faster reflexes.

The two men were now standing, facing each other and I was between them. It was an experience not entirely unfamiliar to me, except it was usually Joe and Ranger.

Vince put his right arm around my waist and brought me in front of his body

"Things have changed recently in her life," Vince said quietly holding up my left hand displaying the ring.

"This can't be real. No way. You've never agreed to marry me," Joe spluttered. "So there's no way you would have agreed to marry him. He needs to get the hell out of here."

"Actually Joe, we both initially assumed you and I would eventually get married. But the one time you did ask was only so you could get rid of your family. He stays."

Joe was clenching and unclenching his fists at his side.

Vince tensed sensing that Joe was about to blow his stack and moved me so that I was behind him.

"The rings are real, Morelli. I don't do anything without considering the consequences. She and I both know what the rings mean. I have never and will never show Stephanie any disrespect. Can you say the same thing?"

Joe said nothing and just glared. "If this is how you want it, Cupcake." He picked up his jacket and walked out the door.

Vince turned and looked at me and said, "This kind of reminds me of the line from the Reservoir Dogs. You know the one?" I shook my head. "Sure you do, it's when Mr. Blonde says, 'You kids shouldn't play so rough. Someone's gonna start cryin''."

I had tears in my eyes. I'd wanted to end things, needed them to be over. I also felt like I cheated by implying that I'd married Vince. Then I realized I hadn't said a word about marrying him, not technically, anyway. I also realized what Vince had said about the rings, that we both knew what the rings meant. The rings meant that I wouldn't go back to Joe and that I'd finally found a way for him to hear me that things were over.

"Wasn't there a better way for you to end it with him?" he asked quietly.

"I've tried and he's never listened. He wasn't cruel this time, but it was because I wasn't alone with him. Maybe now he'll move on," I said with a sigh.

"I know just what you need to cheer you up," he said walking away from me and to the bakery box on the kitchen table.

He opened the lid and all I could do was laugh. The cake said, "Happy Birthday! Merry Christmas! Happy Easter! Happy Valentine's Day …" I think every holiday possible was listed on the cake.

"We've missed celebrating a lot of holidays, this should catch us up. Besides, I don't know your birthday," he said.

"I don't know yours either."

We ate cake, laughed and told stories. He really wasn't as boring as he'd seemed; he was just shy and understated.

We talked until much of the evening was gone. He stood to leave and I wasn't ready to be alone, not yet anyway.

"Want to sleep with me again tonight?" I asked with a yawn.

"This is becoming a bad habit," he said looking at his overnight bag. "Besides, I could get used to it."

That wouldn't be such a bad thing. The man made an incredible full body pillow.

"Was the bag for show or do you actually have something in it?" I asked stretching a little.

"I've got toiletries and a pair of sweats," he said.

I picked up his bag and took it to the bathroom. "All the towels in the bathroom are clean. Why don't you get cleaned up and I'll meet you in the bedroom."

"Same rules as last night, Steph. Any funny business and we'll get married in the morning."

That was a chance I was willing to take.

A/N: Vince got under my skin, I couldn't resist. Hope you enjoyed! Alf


	4. Chapter 4

The Moderate Muse

This is for CS Katie who thinks that Vince is her favorite. He's adorable but kind of shy.

_I picked up his bag and took it to the bathroom. "All the towels in the bathroom are clean. Why don't you get cleaned up and I'll meet you in the bedroom."_

_"Same rules as last night, Steph. Any funny business and we'll get married in the morning."_

_That was a chance I was willing to take._

**Vince the Moderate Merry Man Part 4  
By Alfonsina**

He came out of the bathroom with just a pair of sweat pants on and a white undershirt. I'd been up close and personal with the chest last night, but hadn't been able to see it. I'd already made up my mind, I was definitely going to have to get a better look at that before the lights went out.

"I know you've had a long day," he said. "But I'm still kind of hungry, do you mind if I have a slice of pizza?"

My appetite had long since vanished, but he shouldn't suffer just because I couldn't eat.

"I'm sorry, I can be a lousy hostess at times. Want a beer or anything else to go with it? I think I've got some soda or bottled water."

"Water'd be great," he said as he pulled about three slices from the box. At least he wasn't shy about eating.

He kept dropping his neck trying to stretch it out.

"Want me to rub it for you?" I asked.

"That'd be nice," he said as he dropped his head to his chest. "I don't mind sleeping on the ground, but I like having something under my own head." I knew he was teasing about being a pillow last night.

I stood behind him and started to rub and knead the knots out of his neck and upper back. If all massage clients were in this kind of shape, I would consider a change in career. I might even do it on a strictly volunteer basis. It was the least I could do for the best pillow I'd ever had, wasn't it?

After about three minutes Vince let me know I was done.

He looked at me and said, "I brought something to watch if you want."

"Sure, as long as it isn't a Tarrantino flick. I'm not up for lines about 'a block of wood, bucket of ice and a hatchet, sir'. Do you have something that is kind of quiet?"

I really didn't feel up to Ghostbusters, it just didn't seem to fit the mood.

"I have one of the best movies ever made," he said going over to his bag. He pulled out a DVD of The Princess Bride.

I looked at him and smiled. I loved that movie, especially Miracle Max. I just wished Miracle Max had a pill to miracle my mother into silence some days. I guess that is why it is a fantasy picture, no miracle on earth would ever get my mother to be quiet about things I'd done wrong or what I was doing now.

"You can't tell any of the guys about this," he said. "They like mostly violent stuff and porn. I think life is bigger than that. Plus this movie has something for everyone."

"Want me to make popcorn?" I hoped I had popcorn in the cabinet.

He shook his head. I guess he'd had enough to eat, but for me somehow the whole movie watching experience just isn't the same without the popcorn.

I set up the DVD player while he dimmed the lights in the apartment. We settled onto the sofa next to each other. I loved the interplay between the child and the grandfather … it reminded me of my own grandfather.

At some point I yawned and put my head on his shoulder and I think I fell asleep. Despite what he says about not wanting to be a pillow, Vince is a fantastic pillow.

When I woke up, I thought there was an earthquake. The ground beneath me was moving and things just felt odd. I opened my eyes to realize I was being carried into the bedroom.

"You should put me down," I said. "I'll break you."

"I can bench press two of you, not a problem," he said. "I'm sorry I woke you up, but it is getting late and you should sleep in your own bed."

He put me down so he could pull down the covers.

"In you go."

"Where are you going to sleep?"

"Sofa."

I wanted to whine or pout, but couldn't think of any way to do it where it didn't come off needy.

"It's a queen with clean sheets. Big enough for two, I promise to be good." If he wasn't so principled I could promise to be very good all night anyway he wanted me to be.

"Promise to keep your hands to yourself?"

I nodded solemnly. I fully intended to keep my word and my hands to myself and if I did any exploration it would strictly be an accident.

"Which side is your side?" I asked. I always slept on whichever side of a bed was closer to the bathroom for emergency nocturnal trips.

"The middle."

Oh boy.

"No really," I said.

"Just like last night. If we're gonna do this, you need to get on top of me. You like to cuddle and it is the only way I can be a pillow for you."

"I could stay on my own side," I said. No I couldn't I usually took most of the bed no matter how big it was.

He just looked at me and shook his head while he took off the undershirt.

"Go get changed into whatever you want to sleep in, I'll be here when you're ready."

So I did a speed version of my nightly routine. I made sure there wouldn't be too much mascara under my eyes, I brushed my teeth and swished some mouthwash through it and put on a pair of boxers with a t-shirt from Grandma Mazur that I'd never had the courage to wear in public. The t-shirt said, "Lick You All Over. Ten Cents." It was Vince and I was safe. If Morelli ever saw it, he'd pull out all of his change and wink at me. If Ranger ever saw it, he'd probably pull out a twenty and I'd be a willing prisoner until he got his money's worth.

When I left the bathroom, he was indeed in the middle of the bed already dozing. I shut off the lights and contemplated crawling in next to him.

"Will you at least give me a good night kiss?" I asked before I got in the bed.

"Just one kiss, and I was serious about you sleeping on top of me. It's comfortable and I don't have to worry about needing a blanket."

Yeah, but I will and probably going to need a cold shower before this is all over. I should have taken the sofa and left him in the bed. I've slept on the sofa a lot, it wouldn't have been a hardship. On the other hand, I'm looking at an extended celibacy period and not really enjoying that prospect.

I climbed on top of him, straddled more like. The way things lined up I was really disappointed that he wouldn't fool around at all. Things would have fit nicely and other things felt like they would exceed my hopes and expectations.

I leaned down for the kiss. His hands came up and caressed my face. I about lost it when he started to run his thumb over my bottom lip. If he kept this up, neither of us was going to need a blanket; damn it was getting warm in here and he hadn't even kissed me yet. He dropped delicate little kisses over my forehead, my cheeks, my eyes and even my nose before I shifted so he would actually kiss my lips.

Did I mention that he likes to kiss? He not only likes to kiss, but he takes his time. There was nothing hurried or rushed. It made me think about the 'most perfect kiss' they talked about in the Princess Bride, I think this would have been a close second to that one. The only thing that would have made it perfect would have been a couple of hours of naked exploration.

"Steph, we need to get some sleep. It's late," said the voice of reason.

I didn't want to be reasonable. I wanted to be unreasonable, completely wanton and extinguish some of the fire between my legs, let him rebuild the fire and then put it out all over again.

"I'm serious, Steph."

Fine.

"Good night, Vince. Thanks for tonight."

"Goodnight, Steph. Sleep well. Don't touch or I'll most likely marry you in the morning."

"Vince, you sound like the Dread Pirate Roberts," I said as I snuggled into this chest.

"Oh you mean the line about 'Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely kill you in the morning.'? Well I won't kill you, but if you do anything that compromises my virtue, I will most likely marry you in the morning."

"That's the one. Sleep well, Vince."

xx

The sun was trying to come up and I didn't want to see it. I was comfy, warm and happy until I felt my pillow start to grumble.

"You get until the count of three to move your hand, or else."

Crap. I wasn't with Morelli and I didn't have a right to have my hand where it was. Force of habit, I guess.

"One."

I didn't move but finally did open my eyes.

"Stephanie, you don't know how hard you are pushing me. Two."

"Ok. Ok. I'll let go," I said with a sigh and I relinquished control of what wasn't my toy to play with anyway.

"Thank you," he said gruffly.

I struggled to get up.

"Where you going?" he asked. He didn't want me to play with him but he didn't want me to leave either.

"Mother Nature," I said.

"Come back when you're done, I'll get cold."

Talk about mixed signals.

I wasn't in the bathroom all that long, but I heard him talking to someone when I headed back out.

"Yes, it happened again." Pause. "The usual place works for me. You got time for it today?" Pause. "Perfect. See you then. Later man."

"Who was that?" I asked.

"Just Binky. We're gonna meet him today after work."

"Something important?"

He shrugged and said, "Come back, I'm cold."

I didn't have to be asked twice. I went back to the bed, straddled his body and planted a kiss on his chest before I lowered my head to go back to sleep.

I really could get used to this. Damn he felt good.

I said, "Goodnight, Vince. Sleep well. Don't touch or I'll most likely marry you in the morning."

He started to rub my back and down my hip. The feeling was addicting. Definitely if there was such a thing as reincarnation, I wanted to come back as Vince's cat; I'd never stop purring.

"This afternoon," he mumbled and he was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

_I said, "Goodnight, Vince. Sleep well. Don't touch or I'll most likely marry you in the morning."_

_He started to rub my back and down my hip. The feeling was addicting. Definitely if there was such a thing as reincarnation, I wanted to come back as Vince's cat; I'd never stop purring. _

_"This afternoon," he mumbled and he was gone._

**Vince the Moderate Merry Man Part 5  
By Alfonsina**

When Vince mumbled 'this afternoon' I wanted to have no idea what he was talking about. If I hadn't been so comfortable and so tired, I might have panicked. As it was I decided to pretend he hadn't said anything.

Around 8:45 my cell rang. I groaned and tried to find it. Squirming on top of Vince was a lot of fun, but it didn't answer the phone. When I finally found the phone, it had stopped ringing. I checked the display to see who I'd missed; it was the bonds office.

I called back and immediately got Connie.

"Are you coming in this morning? I've got a new file for you and some possible gossip," she said.

"Ummmmmmmmm. Later, I'm not awake yet."

"Long night with the cop? I heard he was over there last night. Rumor is you're gonna be getting serious with him again."

"Dead rumor. Can I talk to you about it later? I was just about to adjust my pillow so I could sleep for a few minutes."

I smiled at the little pun I'd just made. There were all kinds of adjustments I'd like to make to Vince and I knew just where I wanted to start.

"You're gonna want this file and you're gonna need backup. Jerry Capaldi isn't a nice guy," Connie said disrupting my mini-fantasy.

"Very few are nice guys. I'll be in later this morning," I mumbled into the phone.

I closed my phone and put my head back on my new favorite pillow. Unfortunately my pillow was now awake and his stomach was grumbling.

"Tank's gonna kill me for being late, Steph. I need to go," he said with a yawn and a stretch.

Since I was still on top of him, I actually got a much better measure of the man. Let me say, impressive doesn't begin to cover what he was hiding under his sweatpants. I sort of hoped he wasn't able to feel the dampness that was beginning to form between my legs. I didn't want to be married, at least not today, and as a result I was doing I was going to have to take a very long shower when he left.

I didn't make a move to get off his body because I was comfortable.

"I mean it, I need to go," he said.

I still didn't budge, I figured he could figure a way out if he wanted to badly enough. I also didn't realize that my hand had wandered back to where it had been in the middle of the night.

"Three," he said as he flipped us so he was on top of me. Previously he'd kissed me in a quiet and amazing way. This kiss was a passion that was completely unleashed and something I wouldn't have expected.

I was able to pull away long enough to ask, "What happened to 'one' and 'two'." I was panting and could barely get the words out. I licked my lips, then I licked his lips. Finally I said, "Usually when people count to three, they use one and two first."

"Used them at 4:00 this morning," he said as he resumed the kiss.

I was starting to realize how it was that he'd gotten so many women to say 'yes' and marry him. While the kiss last night had been perfect in its slow attention to detail making all sorts of promises, this kiss was the prelude to fulfilling the first of those many scrumptious promises.

While I've been responsive to Morelli in the past, there was just no comparison to Vince's careful ministrations. It was like we had ESP together. He knew exactly how I wanted to be touched and where almost as soon as I thought it. There was still too much clothing between us one of us was about to remedy that horrible circumstance when Vince's cell phone rang. Fortunately he found it before it quit ringing, unfortunately he had me trapped by my hair.

"What?" he barked into the phone.

There was evidently a long conversation on the other side that was none too happy. Actually none of us was happy; not the caller, not me, not Vince and not Mr. Happy in Vince's pants.

Vince moved off of me and looked for his bag, grunting into the phone. "My own car." Pause. "I have a life." Pause. "None of your God damned business." Pause. "I'll be there in about twenty minutes." Pause. "Got it. Later."

He had his back toward me while he was digging around for his pants from last night. He didn't go into the bathroom to redress, he just stayed facing the wall. I'd suspected he'd been commando underneath the sweats and my thoughts were confirmed. Too bad he was leaving, I would have enjoyed kissing that tiny little smiley face on his right cheek.

I couldn't resist I had to say something about it.

"A smiley face tattoo? That's not like you, is it?" I asked.

He still hadn't turned around. "Tell you about it tonight, OK?" he asked as he was tucking in his shirt.

"Sure. Hey, you mentioned meeting up after work to see Binky. What's that about?"

"Binky and I play catch up on a regular basis and there's some stuff I want to go over with you. Nothing bad, I promise. You at Rangeman today or on your own?"

"On my own."

"Make sure you have a hamburger for breakfast this morning; I'm late replacing Manny on a stakeout."

"Yeah guy, I remember hamburgers are the cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast."

I was still on the bed but hadn't pulled all of the blankets up yet. I was admiring the now fully clothed view of Vince; I could look at his body all day long. Damn cell phones.

"I'll lock up behind myself," he said with a smile.

I like to think people need a key to get into my apartment, but seems that on the hiring application you have to be able to both break into my apartment and lock it so no one, i.e. me, knows you've been there.

I couldn't resist because my body was on fire, I said, "Kiss me good-bye?" Why not? He'd shown incredible alacrity and skill. I didn't want to miss out on observing his skills now did I?

He walked over to the bed and instead of kissing me on the lips, he started to leave open kisses on my feet and then my calves. His lips had reached the top of my thigh and about to approach the promised land when his phone rang again.

"Finish you later?" he asked with a grin. "Speak. On my way. I still have ten minutes before I'm there."

My apartment was going to go up in flames and I was going to be accused of arson. I really hoped that I could put out the fire he'd just lit with a shower massager or I was really going to suffer all day. So I'd helped to stoke the fire, so what? Now I was going to have to find some way to put it out, all by myself.

thanks for reading and reviewing!! alf


	6. Chapter 6

**Vince the Moderate Merry Man Part 6  
By Alfonsina**

When Vince left, I found myself in the shower for as long as the hot water held out and another fifteen minutes after that. That was the good news. The bad news was that I was still overheated in a big, bad way. Sitting on a bag of frozen peas didn't even help. I was in a bad way.

I went to the bonds office to see Connie about picking up Jerry Capaldi's file.

"So what happened last night with Morelli? It doesn't look like things went well based on the lack of after-glow," Connie said.

"Yeah, but something happened, you can see whisker burn on her neck," Lula said.

Perfect.

"Morelli and I have finally come to an understanding," I said. "It is now officially over. No going back, no regrets, no more second chances for either of us."

"Was that decided before or after the whisker burn?" Lula asked.

I looked down and didn't answer.

"No file until there are details," Connie said. Connie was never shy about using blackmail to get what she wanted from me.

"No details. I need to make rent. Give me the file."

"You know the rules," Lula said. Some days Lula was no help to me at all. "It wasn't Ranger, cause he's still out of town. You find yourself a new man?"

I was trying to say nothing and be very casual about this conversation. I would have been more casual except that the door opened and it was Vince with Caesar.

The usual pleasantries were exchanged and files for Rangeman were distributed.

"Hey, there you are," Vince said. "I forgot my bag at your place this morning. Do you mind if I pick it up sometime today?"

"Do you want the key?" I asked more out of formality than anything else.

He looked at me and shook his head slowly. "I never need a key with that cracker box you live in."

Just how many times had he been to my place without my knowledge? Never mind, I really didn't want to know.

"Does no one respect my privacy?" I asked the room.

Not one word was said, but they all shook their heads at me.

"Privacy isn't guaranteed by the Constitution," Vinnie called through the door.

"Man, just kiss her so we can get on with the rest of our day," Caesar said to Vince. "That's the real reason why we're here, isn't it?"

I was expecting a quick peck on the cheek, if that, but no. Vince doesn't do anything part way. It was another of those hypnotic kisses I was discovering he was so good at. I'd've done about anything if he would just keeping kissing me exactly like that.

"Remember, I'm goal oriented," he whispered into my ear before he resumed the kiss.

"You two need to get a room," Caesar said. Vince ignored him, and everybody else for that matter.

"I heard you say you might need some help on a skip today? I'm free early afternoon if you want help," Vince said. "Then we'll have dinner and meet up with Binky."

I hadn't recovered my ability to speak yet so I just watched as Connie handed him the folder.

Jerry Capaldi was an 345 pound, 6'2" opera singer turned music teacher who was in mourning for Pavarotti. Seemed that when he got drunk, no matter where he was, he'd break out into an aria at full volume. Since the death of his idol, Mr. Capaldi was trying to serenade the entire metropolitan area. The only catch was when he was arrested for drunk and disorderly conduct, he was found to be carrying concealed. The weapon was a Desert Eagle with three spare clips. Big toys for big boys, I guess.

"Man, you haven't seen Binky yet? You're changing your ways, man," Caesar said. "Usually you see him within the first twelve hours of something like this."

What exactly did Binky have to do with anything?

They were about to head for the door when Caesar leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, "Congratulations Steph. Just don't break his heart, OK?"

Vince made a noise and Caesar opened the door. Vince kissed me gently and said, "I'll call you around 3:30 so we can meet up and get your bad guy. See you soon."

After the door closed, I made an attempt to take the file off of Connie's desk, but my reflex time wasn't fast enough.

"Now, Steph, you're gonna tell Auntie Connie and Auntie Lula all about it, aren't you?" Connie intoned.

"Uh, no."

"Looks like you gave the old heave ho to the cop for Mr. Blonde-and-Built that just left," Lula said.

I wasn't thinking and I closed my eyes and pinched the top of my nose with my left hand. The room erupted again when they spotted the ring. The band was so slender that I'd forgotten it was still on my finger.

"Girl, you have gotten married and haven't told anybody, haven't you?" Lula accused.

"Not exactly."

"How come you're wearing a ring? Wait a minute, he was wearing a ring too, now that I think about it," Connie said.

"It isn't how it looks, I forgot to give it back to him after last night. It doesn't mean anything, really," I said. I didn't sound convincing in my own ears and I knew damned well they weren't buying what I was trying to sell.

"So something did happen with Mr. Hunk-of-Burning-Everything," Lula said.

"Not exactly. He was there to help me end things with Joe last night," I said.

"I bet that conversation was smooth," Connie said.

"It could have been a lot smoother," I said. "I pretty much wrapped my tongue around my eye tooth. I couldn't see to talk."

"So how did it end?" Lula asked.

"Vince showed Morelli the wedding ring and Morelli was a little preturbed," I said. "At least there was no blood spilled."

"So why did Vince show Morelli a wedding ring on your finger?" Connie asked.

"Because I forgot to take it off from that morning," I said with a sigh. "I'm not married. It just happens that Vince and I spent the night in a stairwell together. He wanted to see what the guys would do if they saw us with the rings on. That's it. I just forgot to take it off and give it back to him."

"The man walks around with wedding rings?" Connie asked. "Now that's a new one. Why would he walk around with wedding rings?"

I really didn't want to go there, but it was easier to say it than to fight with the two of them. "He won't fool around unless he's married."

"I used to have a client like that. He'd have us both put our hands on the motel bible and then he'd take a magic marker to my finger so he could pretend I was his wife," Lula said. "And then he would want to play 'the honeymoon game' with some flavored oils …."

"Lula, I don't need any more details, OK?"

"Be all uptight about it. That's what you two did, isn't it?"

"There was no bible, there was no honeymoon game," damn it, "and there was no fooling around. He's a very straight arrow kind of a guy." Well there'd been enough fooling around for me to want to sign on the dotted line and feed Vince nothing but oysters until my cravings had been satisfied.

"That doesn't explain why he had the rings with him," Connie said.

"I guess since he won't unless he's married, he's prepared to get married at the drop of a hat," I said. "Now will you give me the file?"

"Don't think we won't call the Courthouse later today to see about your marriage license," Connie said.

Just what I always wanted. "You won't find one. No marriage license, no wedding and no sex. Got it?"

I was the one who wanted to get it, after those couple of kisses just now, I was going to need to go home and take another shower.

"I want to make a Costco condom run," Lula said. "Want to come with me?"

"You drive," I said. I would probably regret being in the prophylactic aisle with Lula.

A/N: thanks for reading and reviewing! alf


	7. Chapter 7

**Vince the Moderate Merry Man Part 7  
By Alfonsina**

Lula and I headed for Costco. Because I usually live alone, there's no reason for me to have a membership. Lula has one, mostly it's so she can buy condoms at a discount. Just how many condoms did she and Tank go through anyway? Never mind, some things are left best to the imagination.

We wandered the whole store because you never know what food samples they're going to have. Today we struck out, there were no samples of anything, just coupons for a brand of soap I don't use. Then again, if we came on Friday we might hit the jackpot.

Running into Vince at the office wasn't helping my little problem of being overheated. If anything, you could probably melt ice from my body-heat at five paces. I couldn't remember the last time I was this hot without being under a doctor's care.

I counted myself lucky that there is a walk in fridge at Costco. It gave me a couple of minutes to cool my heels while I closely examined the cucumber selection. Actually I'm glad that Costco only sells produce in the big bulk bags. I didn't want to get caught fondling any one carrot stick or cucumber; I might drool and that would cause other problems for me.

I considered buying some new panties because he'd about ruined the ones I had on, but the only ones available at Costco are 'passion killers'. We weren't doing anything, but I didn't want to ruin the passion, just in case. A girl can never be too sure.

Lula and I each had the 1.50 hotdog and soda combo for lunch. You can't beat the cheap lunches available in most Costcos. Nothing wrong with cheap, fast and easy when it comes to food, just don't let my mother know I think that. Then again, I've heard you are what you eat and I didn't want to think of myself as being 'cheap, fast and easy' either.

I had just slathered my dog with mustard and was considering the raw onions when Lula broke into my thoughts.

"You normally have pizza when we're here," Lula said. "Got sausage on your mind? Maybe an oral fixation? Do we need to cruise the produce aisle again?"

I hadn't been thinking about the smolder in my nether regions for a whole five minutes and she has to remind me. Ducky, just ducky. I had been zoning a little anyway and hadn't realized I was stroking my straw. Lula was noticing everything lately, I hoped she hadn't noticed the straw. I needed a cold shower and soon.

Just because earlier I was obsessing over one particular package of English cucumbers meant absolutely nothing. The fact that I didn't want to leave the bratwurst section was probably just a coincidence because I don't like brats. My need for a doughnut was unparalleled at this point, one that is full of a delectable crème filling … oh never mind.

"So what are you two going to do with Binky?" she asked saving me from my own thoughts.

"Not a clue in the world. Could be board games for all I know. Could be a take down strategy or something new at the range." You never knew with Ranger's guys. More likely it was a game of strip poker or 'duck and cover'. I hated the duck and cover type games, they usually involved paintballs and a need to do more laundry.

After lunch Lula dropped me back at the office and I sat in my car reviewing Jerry Capaldi's file. I was only on the second page when I became aware of how much stroking I was doing of my pen. I dropped it like it was a snake and about to bite me.

I was having an exceptional time getting a grip on my hormones and it was getting worse over the course of the day. Things got worse for me when I watched a long train go into a tunnel. It took forever; there were over 200 cars on that particular train going in deeper, and deeper and deeper. Oh God, I really should have bought the granny panties.

xx

I got a voicemail from Tank that I needed to sign a bunch of forms to update my personnel file and that the sooner I signed them the happier everyone would be. Tank took the role of office manager a little too seriously some days.

It was early enough to sign the forms before I needed to head out and meet Vince.

I headed into Tank's office.

"What do you need me to sign?" I asked.

"Just the usual, tax forms, insurance paperwork; nothing exciting. It isn't like you haven't signed it all before, Steph."

I went to Tank's desk and signed about fifteen different sheets of paper. Mr. Organized had put little flags everywhere I needed to sign so I didn't bother to look at anything first.

"Anything else?" I asked.

"Not at the moment. Let Vince know he'll need to do the same thing when he comes in tomorrow."

"Sure thing, Tank. See you later."

Why didn't he just call Vince himself?

xx

I located Capaldi's regular haunts. It dawned on me that on Wednesday afternoons he usually played chess in the park. It was even the site of his arrest; he'd been drinking and taunting his opponent by singing at him. Capaldi had been playing fast and loose with the rules and didn't take kindly to having it pointed out to him, hence the arrest. He'd made threats and brandished his weapon, but that possible charge was later dropped.

I checked my purse to make sure I had my .38, I didn't. I checked to see if I had my stun gun; I did, but it wasn't charged. I checked on my cuffs, those I had. I also did have the file and the papers needed for the cop shop.

I found my phone and called Vince, it was a little early, but I'd have a chance to walk around the park and stretch my legs a little bit. I walked around the duck pond - sans ducks, the picnic area - sans picnickers, playground equipment – sans kids.

Vince was still fifteen minutes away and I could see the skip from the swingset. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a good swing, so I did. The city or whoever had messed with the chains so I couldn't get high enough to jump off the swing. It wasn't worth it; too low. Jumping from swings was one of my favorite things as a kid; I'd pump my legs hard, swing as high as I could and then I could fly. I still have the scars on my knees to prove it. Eight was a great age.

It was easy to spot Vince when he got to the park. I think he was looking for me near all the benches and trees.

My phone rang and I heard, "Where are you? I thought you were at the park?"

"Can you see the playground equipment from where you are?"

"Yeah."

"See the nut waiving in your direction?"

"Very cute, but we need to bring this guy in."

"Don't you wanna push me so I can go higher? I can't do it as well all by myself, please?" I was baiting and I knew it, but I couldn't control myself. I hadn't had wholesome, clean cut fun in a long time.

"Work first, I'll push you around later," he said as he snapped his phone closed. Sounded like he didn't want to play with me, damn man. Or maybe he did?

I got off the swing and made my way to where Vince was impatiently waiting.

"Ready to do this?" he asked.

"Sure, if you are."

"Let's see your weapon," he said holding out his hand.

He already knew I didn't have it. I shrugged at him.

"Stun gun?"

"Battery's dead."

"You didn't plan this very well, did you?"

"Usually they aren't violent. Usually, I can get them to come in just fine. Usually …"

"Usually you aren't working with me," he said with a sigh.

He bent over and pulled a .357 snubby out of his ankle holster, checked that it was loaded and passed it to me.

"I need to help you with your preparedness techniques," he said.

"Are you a good teacher?"

I shouldn't have said that because he growled.

"Have you at least identified your target?"

That I had done, I had seen Capaldi not twenty minutes before sitting at a little table.

"Well he was right here when I went to go play," I said.

I'd never lost a skip because my inner child took over. I usually lost them because there was a struggle, not because I wanted to be eight years old again.

He looked like he wanted to say something that would have become a lecture, but didn't because in the distance we could both hear singing.

"O sole mio  
sta 'nfronte a te!  
O sole  
O sole mio"

"There can only be one person singing that," I said. I'm part Italian; I can recognize the standards if I have to.

The man was staggering out of the men's room with a brown paperbag. The singing got louder. Definitely it was my skip.

Fortunately for me Vince has good reflexes. Unfortunately for me I got in the way of the skip. Capaldi was in the middle of his big finale when he accidentally backhanded me and I fell. The fall wouldn't have been so bad, but the men's room was at the top of a little rise. If you followed the rise down, you wound up in the duck pond; which I did.

Vince had the man on the ground and cuffed before I emerged from the water. It was not a moment when I even remotely resembled Halley Berry coming out of the water in a James Bond movie. I looked like a drowned rat in a pair of jeans, sneakers and a flannel shirt. To look at me now you couldn't tell that my panties were ruined; all of me was. At least I'd dropped my purse on the ground and it hadn't gotten soaked. Thank God for small favors.

I walked with Vince and the sip back to the SUV. I was making very unladylike sloshing noises and feeling uncomfortable. I'd been uncomfortable all day, this was just a different kind. Now I knew I should've bought those damned high waisted cotton nightmares. Damn it.

Vince shackled his charge into the back seat and then went to the back of the rig.

"Let's at least get the pond water off of you," he said as he removed a hose and a large black garbage bag from his emergency kit.

"I've got spare clothes but I don't have an extra towel."

He dug a little further and was able to produce something a little larger than a tea towel, but it was better than nothing.

"I've got a blanket, do you want that, too?" he asked.

"Pass. I'll make this work, promise."

I knew I had clothes, I just had no idea what they looked like. I really hoped they were clean enough to drive home in.

He escorted me to my car while I checked my trunk. I actually had a packed emergency bag; how long it had been there was anyone's guess. The contents were minimal, one short denim skirt, one red tank top and one pair of black patent-leather FMPs. My purse had the requisite comb, hair brush, spray gel and makeup kit. All the while Capaldi was continuing to sing at full volume and shaking the vehicle at the same time.

We walked to the ladies' room and found a bib to screw the hose into. I put my put the dry stuff in the bathroom and I removed some of the outer wear so I would feel borderline clean when he got done soaking me all over again. I had no intention of letting my spare stuff get wet; I didn't know what kind of aim Vince had.

"Are you ready to do this thing?" I asked through the door. I didn't want to be exposed any longer than possible.

"Yep. Once you're out here, you're going to want to make a couple of pivots so all of you is rinsed. Ready when you are, sport."

I emerged from the bathroom minus my jeans, my flannel shirt, my shoes and my socks. I still had on my undies, long sleeved t-shirt and my bra.

The water that came out of the hose was even colder than what had been in the pond. After what felt like a lifetime, he turned off the water and handed me the towel.

We talked through the door for a little bit while I was trying to dry off. We decided that he would take Capaldi in and get the body receipt. I would meet him and Binky at Rossi's Tavern when I got cleaned up.

I used all the paper towels in the bathroom in addition to the tea towel to get the water out of my hair. I'd lost a wee bit of weight and the skirt was a little loose which meant I had no real problem getting it on over damp skin. The t-shirt was a different story; I virtually always wore it with a bra and I wasn't quite sure how shear it was. Hopefully neither Binky or Vince would notice.

The next time I pack an emergency bag, it's gonna have panties in it. Sensible panties, the kind that don't creep up my ass. What kind of panties did I have the pleasure of wearing? None. I don't mind braless, but commando isn't my thing; never has been. That package of Hanes Her Way white cotton, sensible panties was looking better and better the further I got away from them.

xx

I got to Rossi's about forty-five minutes later. I found Binky and Vince sitting at a big booth with a pitcher of beer and a bunch of appetizers between them.

"You cleaned up pretty well," Vince said as he kissed my temple.

"Heard you had an adventure today," Binky said with a smile.

"Just the usual."

Vince poured some beer into the spare glass and loaded a plate of appetizers for me. I didn't realize how much of an appetite a girl can develop from finding herself all wet and uncomfortable.

"So what are we talking about fellas?" I asked.

"Just the future. No big deal," Vince said putting his arm over my shoulders.

"He says it's not a big deal because I do all of the work," Binky snorted.

"Yeah, what kind of work?" I asked. The hand was now starting to massage a little knot at the back of my head.

"Glad you asked that. Let me give you my card," he said as he opened up his wallet and handed me a card.

_Brian "Binky" Trask  
CPA, CFP, Broker and Investment Counselor_

"Binky used the ROTC to put himself through college," Vince said changing from a massage to a feather light touch. "He likes the action better than a desk job, but he keeps all of his licenses and credentials current."

"Someone has to look out for the future," Binky said.

"Anyway, Bonehead here handles all of my investments, retirement stuff and like that. He likes to think about the numbers and I just have to sign the paperwork."

"I never seem to have anything to invest," I said. "I seem to spend all my spare cash on shoes."

"Shoes are very important," Vince said into my ear. "I really like the ones you're wearing tonight. Are they special for me?"

"A girl can never have too many pairs of black pumps," I said. "They just happened to be in the car."

"Once every year or so, I go through Jackass's paperwork and update it for signatures and the like. I need a witness, are you a willing witness?" Binky asked.

"Sure."

So I watched Vince sign about twenty or so sheets of paper, then I signed a couple of things that Binky notarized.

"You are a notary, too?" I asked.

Binky reached back into his wallet and pulled out another card.

_Brian "Binky" Trask  
Notary_

"Anything you don't do?" I asked.

Binky pulled out several more cards. One for a handy man service, another for a yard service, the next was for website development.

"Did you have ADHD as a kid?" I asked.

"Yep. I get bored easily. I like a little variety."

The guys got the waitress' attention and ordered two of the house special burgers; I asked for the same, hold the onion. Vince thought about it and had them hold his onions, too.

I leaned back into the booth and snuggled into Vince's body. I was finally getting warm and comfortable. I had allowed myself to be lulled into a false sense of security when I felt Vince's hand on my thigh.

"Vince," I said quietly. "Whatcha doing?"

"Nothing," he said quietly.

I ate a little more and realized the hand had crept up just a little further than before. I picked up his hand and moved it back down toward my knee. I gave a half hearted glare.

He was unfazed by my glare; I guess it doesn't work on blue eyed, blond men.

Binky excused himself for a couple of minutes. Vince wasted no time in closing the gap between us.

"I love how you kiss," he said. "Will you let me kiss you here?"

Here meaning on my neck just under my ear? Here meaning the booth?

"Wherever you want, for as long as you want," I said wishing he'd get on with it.

"Only if you are sure," he said. I nodded and he captured my mouth with his and his thumb was brushing up and down my breastbone. It was light but thorough and complete in its possession of my senses, the touch of his thumbs alone was enough to raise my internal temperature.

Binky came back and had to clear his throat a couple of times. "Are you ready for phase two?"

Vince nodded and I found myself agreeing just to keep the sensation going.

Oh boy.


	8. Chapter 8

_Binky came back and had to clear his throat a couple of times. "Are you ready for phase two?" _

_Vince nodded and I found myself agreeing just to keep the sensation going._

_Oh boy._

**Vince the Moderate Merry Man Part 8  
By Alfonsina**

"So, Stephanie, do you know why most marriages fail?" Binky asked.

I broke the kiss briefly and said, "Lack of communication?"

Vince said, "You need to have common values." The kissing promptly resumed.

There were lots of relationship questions asked by Binky, but he seemed to be satisfied with the answers we were giving him. There were questions on all kinds of subjects and we agreed on most of the answers; I guess we shared values after all.

At one point I came out of the haze to look Vince in the eyes and ask, "Do you want kids at any point?"

"I was the fifth of eleven kids; I raised half of my bothers and sisters. I've done my time."

"Oh."

"I had a vasectomy after the third marriage. I mean it can be reversed if you want that, but I didn't want to have to worry about paternity tests years down the road."

No need for condoms or other pesky forms of birth control, YES!!

"You want kids, Steph?"

"Not really all that maternal," I said wishing that Binky would disappear.

I had to move Vince's hand again, it had gone too low on my thigh this time. He wasn't going to figure it out unless he was shown. After I made the adjustment, he gave me the most incredibly wicked smile and he mouthed the words 'that's a tiny thong'. I shook my head and mouthed 'commando'. That was when I was sure the question and answer game with Binky would be short lived.

"Did you see Tank today?" Binky asked.

"Yeah. He had a bunch of forms for me to sign." Pause followed by a long kiss. "Vince, you need to sign some stuff with him tomorrow."

"Good," Vince said.

"What? Does he do audits of the personnel files often?" I asked.

"Nope. Just as needed," Binky said.

Binky was looking mildly amused, and he seemed to have an agenda.

"How do you feel about commitment, Steph?" Binky asked.

"Why all the relationship questions?"

Binky opened up his wallet and handed me a business card that read:

_Brian "Binky" Trask  
Relationship Counselor_

"Commitment is very important to me," I said while I was trying to breathe in whatever that scent was that Vince was wearing.

"So do you agree that before things go any further with Vince, you should have a formal and legally binding commitment?" Binky asked.

What the hell? "Why not? Sure. Of course I do." I would have said anything to make Binky just disappear and to have this booth turn into a motel room.

"Vince, do you also agree that before things go any further with Stephanie, you should have a formal and legally binding commitment?"

"Yes." Pause followed by a very long kiss. "I most definitely do."

"Are you willing to exchange rings to formalize this commitment?" Binky asked somebody.

Vince held up both our left hands for inspection while he nuzzled my neck.

"We can mark that off the list then," Binky said. "It's better than getting matching tattoos."

"Is that why you have a tattoo of a smiley face on your rump?" I asked. No wonder he didn't want to talk about it.

"Steph, I have a Cookie Monster on my ankle and my wife has a Big Bird on her shoulder," Binky said trying to save Vince an explanation. "We did it instead of rings because rings can get lost in combat. Besides, I like eating something sweet." Eww. Quite possibly that was too much personal information about Binky – at least based on the lusty grin on his face. "And my wife thinks I'm a bit of a bird brain."

"It was a dare when I was eighteen Stephanie, it wasn't done in a commitment ceremony of any kind," Vince said. "But it hurt when it was done and no one ever kissed it to make it better, you could be the only one to ever do that."

The bedroom eyes and the gravely voice were back. I was going to melt and soon.

"You have a list?" I tried to get the conversation back on track.

"Of course I do. I even have a sheet of paper for the two of you to sign once I can get the waitress and a busboy to come over here for a minute."

"I'll sign anything you want," I panted, "if you'll just leave."

Binky passed me a pen and I signed on the dotted line, so did Vince, the waitress and the busboy.

"That'll do for now. Congratulations, you two," Binky said with a wink.

"Congratulations on what, exactly?" I said. That word, _congratulations,_ scared the shit out of me no matter when I heard it; usually it had to do with a car going to heaven and a bet being won.

Binky opened his wallet and handed me another card.

_Brian "Binky" Trask  
Reverend, Universal Church of Light._

Hell no. Did I just do what I think I just did?

"_You_ are a minister?"

"Sure. I thought you knew. Back in the day, when I was in service, somebody needed to be ordained in the event of an emergency, to bless new babies, do funerals and perform the odd marriage. On lots of those missions people did more than one job, I took this one on because I can get great parking in hospital lots if I've got to visit someone. Plus I like being called 'Reverend Binky'."

Oh God.

"This can't be binding. We're supposed to go to city hall and wait like three days for the license," I said in a panic.

"Binky knows a guy who knows a guy who can get paperwork through the system quickly," Vince said playing with my fingers.

"What about calling family, renting a hall, ugly dresses for the bridesmaids?"

"Binky has done the last six of my weddings, all just like this one. They are all legal and binding. Do you already want out?" Vince asked looking both crushed and incredibly sexy.

I didn't want out until I'd had at least three orgasms. At the rate I was going, I was going to be denied any orgasm for the foreseeable future and I had a tiny water tank. It felt like I was going to go up in flames and this time it wasn't going to be an apartment that might be sacrificed. If the tavern burned, jobs could be lost, small children could be separated from their families, insurance premiums would certainly rise. This was a risk I just couldn't take.

"What will we tell everybody?" I asked.

"That you couldn't resist my charms?"

"No, really."

"Now I'm hurt. You are saying you can resist my charms?"

"I could if I wanted to," I said. That was a big fat lie. If I could resist his charms we wouldn't have ever slept together beyond the night in the stairwell. Each time we were together I fell more and more under his spell. How did he do that?

"We could say that you wanted to have your wicked way with me and I wouldn't put out until you made an honest man of me." That was closer to the truth than I wanted to admit.

"You didn't even look at the forms Tank had you sign did you?" Binky asked. "As your designated legal representative," he whipped out a card to that effect, "you need to read things before you sign them, Steph. Those were new tax and insurance forms for HR showing your change in marital status."

Shit.

"Tank knows?"

"Baby, everybody knows. We all knew you didn't stand a chance with Commitment Man here when you left the stairwell." Binky said.

Fuck. What about Ranger? What was I going to do about Ranger?

"Ranger already knows. He was going to fly out here to stop this and then realized that what you wanted was a commitment and not just to be a play thing. He wants you happy and he thinks this might make you both happy." Binky has very good ESP, impressive actually.

"So how many men were hurt at the gym in Atlanta?" I asked. I really didn't want anyone hurt on my account.

"Only about five. He really does wish you well and he wishes he'd gotten his own head out of his ass sooner," Binky said. Binky was definitely the man in the know and the man with the connections.

"I'm not going to live on the fourth floor," I said to Vince.

"I have my own house. After the fourth wife, Ranger found it distracting to the guys so I bought a small place."

"No one tried to take part of it during their divorce?"

Binky smiled and passed me a card, he was also a trust administrator and specialized in real estate LLCs. Binky was incredibly prepared. What pot didn't he have a finger in?

Vince said, "It's owned by a bloodline trust. The house and the items in trust can only go to someone directly related to me. None of my wives can get a piece of the house. If something happens to me, my family gets the house and they can sell it."

Oh boy. He wasn't prepared to see this marriage fail, but he wasn't going to come out with the fuzzy end of the lollipop if it did.

Binky finally took a hint to leave when Vince started to kiss me and I tried to crawl in his lap.

"Be good, you two."

"Oh, I plan on it," Vince said.

After several more minutes of public displays of affection and minor groping, Vince asked "Want to drive me home?"

"I don't know if I can make it that long," I breathed. "How far away is the house?"

"About fifteen minutes."

"It'll be hard."

"Sweet Pea, it's been hard since last night. Besides, I can't wait to hose you down in privacy."

Oh boy.

End.

A/N? I hope you enjoyed my mini MM story. Vince was too cute not to use! Thanks as always for reading and reviewing! Alf


End file.
